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Childcare: Changing Your Mind

By Doula Jen


new parentsThis week we’ve been exploring the daunting task of finding childcare for your precious baby.  We’ve run through the options, talked to the moms, and now…we want you to consider something else:


Changing your mind.


Tory and I currently both have new mama family members returning to work SOON. One of these lovely ladies is considering staying home a little bit longer. She wonders if she’s ready to leave, she wonders if it’s worth it. If she chooses not to go back, she wonders if she will later be able to reenter the work force after a break.

Be prepared for these doubts and even changes of heart to arise. Go with it. Talk it out with your partner. Talk it out with your family and friends.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. This is hard! Let it be hard.

Feel. Go with your gut.

The other woman in question says that the things she valued as she toured daycare centers while pregnant have changed since actually becoming a mom. Specifically, while pregnant she was obsessed with the cleanliness of the place and the variety of toys. She was fine with the 5 to 1 ratio. After meeting the new little love of her life? Priorities have shifted. Now her main concern is that the caregivers will pick her baby up when he cries, and that they are loving. She now favors a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio for a newborn. She further explains that while pregnant she evaluated centers with her head, now she involuntarily uses her gut and her heart. Beautiful.

And truly, this often happens. I often advise expectant mothers to do all the legwork for childcare—even secure the spot—but have a back-up plan, an open mind, and flexibility. Thoughts, feelings, and EVERYTHING under the sun changes when you become a parent.


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