By The Welcome Baby Care Doulas
We were recently discussing continuing service with a family we’ve been working with—literally—round the clock. Looks like they’ll be using our help for a while, weaning slowly as many families do. The discussion naturally spawned the common question, “What’s the norm? What do other families do?” We’ve discussed this at least once or twice here at the blog, and of course the scenario is different for each individual family, as is the approach to care.
Dad said to Doula, “I’m sure Welcome Baby Care would encourage us to use the service indefinitely.”
Doula, of course—but much to Dad’s surprise—replied, “Actually, the opposite is true.”
We’ve said it before and we will say it one thousand times over. Our goal is your independence.
We sincerely want to close the door on our final shift knowing that you have two stable feet on the ground, a strong body, a peaceful mind, conviction in your own parenting decisions, and confidence in your caregiving skills. We want you to say, “Thank you, you’ve been wonderful, but we don’t need you anymore.” We don’t take that personally. For us, that is the ultimate stamp of approval and proof of a job well done.
As with the child ready to take the inaugural trip down the street training-wheel free, independence in parenting happens at a different pace for each family. As well it should.
Beyond the independence that we hope to cultivate in teaching, demonstrating, hand holding, stepping back, and letting go, we also wish for you freedom and strength out in the opinionated (and often neurotic) world.
On Independence Day, in particular, we can’t help but hope that you always have the freedom to make your own parenting choices. May nothing stand in your way! We know that you and only you know what’s best for your family and we hope that you hold on to that knowledge—tightly—and continue to trust the wisdom of your instincts.
Happy 4th, everyone.