When a loved one dies, it can be really hard to consistently find the words to help your child through their grief experience while you are also grieving.  It’s important to continue to tell children what’s going on in a way that they will understand.  Frequently we worry that memories will get lost, or stories will be forgotten, or our children will be too young to remember what has been lost and that will color the grief experience. You will think, “I have so much to tell them about this person, I could write a book!” To which I say, “DO IT!”

These days, writing a book isn’t about putting pen to paper, and then finding a publisher. Especially the kind of book I’m talking about. Any number of photo sharing websites (I use Shutterfly) have the online software to assist you in creating a picture book and captions that tell your story in your words. All you need is a few dollars and some time.

Think about the following things while you build your book:

• What are the facts that you’d like to share with your child? When and where was this person born? Who were they to you and to your child? How long did they live? When did they die (in relationship to the child’s life, when you were 4, before you were born, etc.)?
• What are your favorite memories of this person? Did you have a special relationship with the person? Did your child have a special relationship with the person?
• What do you want your child to know about the relationship they can have with this person after death? If you believe in an afterlife, this is a great time to put that into words.  Is there something in nature that reminds you of the person you are grieving? Is there a place you will go to remember that person from time to time?