It’s always a hot topic, one we’ve visited before. Sex after baby.

The experience — depending who you ask — can be weird, painful, awkward and…um…milky. It’s different, to say the least, than what you knew before. And how could it be otherwise? Sex created the wild ride known as pregnancy and then — for nine months or so — sex occurred around a cumbersome belly, with your child growing rapidly right on the other side of the cervix. Cervix — that’s another thing — the frequency with which that word (along with perineum and mucus plug) was thrown around throughout this year of check-ups and checklists made everything you’ve ever known about sex seem a little clinical.

At any rate, your baby, as they inevitably do, arrived. What went down to allow this wondrous event to occur changed the way you look at everything — life, love, the big blue sky and also…human anatomy.

Things had to heal, body parts shifted, strange smells and profuse sweating came into the picture and by the time you made it to that final six week check up with your OB, all you could think was, “Hell no,” to the question of whether or not you were ready to have sex.

There’s only one solid piece of advice that makes sense when it comes to bringing sexy back:

Take it slow.

There’s often a joke about partners waiting for Mom’s final check-up like a race horse waiting to be sprung from the gate, as if the “go ahead” means you’ll be going at it all night long. This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s been a while. New vulnerabilities exist.

Nervous? Unsure? Eager in theory but terrified in practice? Work up to it as you did when you were dating. Hold hands. Cuddle. Get to second base and see where it leads. What ever happened to good old fashioned making out?

Many of the road blocks new parents face as they struggle to get their groove back occur because there’s an all or nothing mentality. They expect to jump into intercourse, two feet first. Slow down. CALM down. Acknowledge that things have changed and start with a kiss…