If there are a few things we consistently hear from new moms, it’s that they’re exhausted and they feel they never have enough time. Most of you don’t even have time to go to the bathroom, let alone think about how you might do something meaningful for you or your spouse. Is that just how it is, or is there a way to live sanely with a new baby? Let’s forget about how it was fifty or sixty years ago when life moved slower and we didn’t have the Internet. For better or worse we’re living in 21st century U.S. culture.
Every mom’s schedule is going to look a little different—some work, some have other children, some live far from helpful family members, and some have been bestowed the blessing of a multiple birth. There is no one secret tip, but experienced moms everywhere will attest—planning ahead is key. Basically it goes back to Ben Franklin’s sage advice: don’t put off until tomorrow what you could do today. Do you have that extra shred of energy to get the laundry folded now? Take it—you don’t know what tomorrow will bring! If you are making dinner for the family, why not make a double batch and freeze the extras?
But you also need to allow for those days that are completely unscheduled—where you look the eight ball in the eyes and let it pass you by. Feel like taking the afternoon to just look at your baby and relish being a mom? We’re here to assure you that the world will keep on spinning.
Ultimately it is you who will have to come up with the schedule that works for you and your family—somewhere you will find the order and balance that exists between ‘military regime’ and ‘willy-nilly’. Does it seem like all the moms around you really have it together? Here’s a truth and a tip: The truth is that most really don’t. The tip: ask them what’s working for them. Let’s be moms in community. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, tips, and guidance from others. No need to repeat your neighbor’s mistakes! Use the collective wisdom to your benefit.
Our culture dissuades us from asking for help when we need it, even if it means suffering alone. Not appearing ‘weak’ is a firmly held American value. However, our doulas have seen this lead to anxiety, depression, and a generalized sense of inadequacy and hopelessness. We recognize that help for new parents is so important that we’ve made it our lives’ work. If you have family, friends, and fellow church members that you can call on, let them know what you need. No apologies! If you need a night’s sleep, help with breastfeeding or just someone to look at you and tell you you’re on the right track, a Welcome Baby Care Postpartum Doula could be your knight(ess) in shining armor.
Where do you need help right now? Who can you ask? To find out more about Welcome Baby Care Postpartum Doula services for new parents, click HERE.