What NOT to Say to Parents of Preemies

We’re talking preemies this month. Let’s start with some basic etiquette, shall we?

What NOT to say to a preemie parent:

  1. Use this time that she’s in the NICU to get all the sleep you can! Can’t sleep much, thanks. Kinda worried about my baby. Miss her a bunch too.
  2. He’s SOOOO tiny! Working on that and thinking about it constantly. I don’t need a reminder.
  3. What did you do? Why did this happen? Sigh.
  4. At least you didn’t have to go full term… I would have given ANYTHING to go full term.
  5. The hospital is the best place for your child. For now, it’s the necessary place, but the best place would either be back in the womb for another month or home with me.
  6. Don’t you know that breast is best? I have tried and tried and tried and pumped and pumped and pumped and yes…I know. Still trying, still hoping, still needing my baby to gain weight in the meantime.
  7. How much does she weigh? I’ll tell you her weight if you tell me yours. Oh…wait…does that question offend you?
  8. Everything happens for a reason. Possibly. But to me this is hard and senseless and the “reason” is insignificant. 
  9. This is when he was supposed to come out. Nope.
  10. I don’t know how you leave your child at the hospital. I don’t have a choice.
  11. When will she catch up? Again…sigh.
  12. Stop being so paranoid. Babies need to be exposed to germs! Not my baby. Not today.

And what TO say…

  1. You are an amazing parent. Your child is lucky to have you. 
  2. What can I do to help?

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