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And Then There’s We Time

By Doula Tory

Last week, we touched on the difference between “Free Time” and “Me Time.”  Now, let’s take a look at “We Time.”

As mothers and fathers, it is important to maintain our individuality, to have moments of invigorating solitude, to hold on to those things that make us feel whole and ready and good.

Equally important to keeping in touch with the spirit of “Me” is continuously revisiting the idea of “We.”

To put it simply:  find time to be a couple.  Reconnect.  However briefly, bury the tendency to refer to your significant other as “Mommy” or “Daddy” and return to Sweetheart.  Move from Baby Brain to Boy Meets Girl.  

Going on a fancy date—or even going anywhere, really—may seem overwhelming, so don’t turn this into added pressure.  Reconnection can be simple.  Here’s an example:

While recently visiting our adorable family with twins in Minneapolis, I noticed that Mom was heading upstairs to take a rest.  The babies were sleeping, I was washing dishes in the kitchen, and Dad was folding laundry.  Peaceful, happy scene.  Regular day at work for me.  Still, I wanted to make the moment even better.

“Why don’t you go join her,” I whispered to the new papa.

“Oh, but the laundry…” he said.

“I’ve got the laundry,” I told him.

Mom’s smile was infectious.  “Yeah, come with me,” she pleaded.

What a wonderful warmth that spread through the house as the soft, happy voices of these beautiful new parents could be heard, muffled, from behind their closed door.

Reconnection can be simple, and it is not a luxury.  It is a necessity.  The best thing you can be for your baby is happy and loved.

The laundry can wait.

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